DISCOURAGED DIVA

Dear KK, Recently I was reading a magazine and a celebrity was commenting on how they have tricks to looking thin. At first I was excited then I realized the celebrity giving advice was a size 2, so being a size 14 I felt crushed. Not to mention it is Thanksgiving weekend and I am feeling extremely bloated and fat.                                       --DISCOURAGED DIVA Dear Discouraged Diva, First of all, DO NOT beat yourself up. Thanksgiving is a holiday centered around food and everyone is feeling it the Friday after... this I promise you! Second, I am a bit tired of the size zeros in the world pushing around lettuce on their plate and giving me tips on how to look “thinner”. Hello! If I was a size zero I would tell the world to “take a hike” if they called me fat in a magazine. Heck if I was a size 4 I would do that!! I can say this for several reasons: 1.) I live in L.A. and work in the fashion and entertainment industry. 2.) When I was growing up in the Midwest as a teen I was one of many teenagers who suffered from an eating disorder because I was trying to listen to these crack heads. 3.) I have been as small as a size 4 in my adult life, and as large as a size 12.
		I still get carded anywhere I go (even though I am 32) and yet I have had the privilege of leaning back in a dentist chair and hearing the doctor say, “You only have slight laugh lines, you totally could do a light round of botox and look natural.” OMG! PEOPLE! What is wrong with this world? Well, I can tell you, for me I should probably be a large size 6 or muscular 8 to be healthy. And yes I am 5’3” not 5’9” ladies.... and I can also tell you that I don’t always fall in that range. Sometimes I make bad food choices.
	Sometimes my life is too stressful and my thyroid breaks. Sometimes I have to pay the bills and work 24/7 and the gym is a distant land. So what is a normal girl to do during the sometimes??? Here is my guide to survival: 1.) Wear the right bra. If you are wearing the wrong size you can look saggy on top, lumpy, and larger.
	2.) Raid your accessories. I am telling you BIG earrings make a difference. Also, scarves and long layered necklaces can be fabulous.
The great thing about fashion is anything goes. do you know how many times my husband has said, “Um you can’t wear those together,” and I say, “Yes I can!” cut to SCENE: L.A. party, five SKINNY BITCHES walk up to me and say, “OMG love your jewelry, who did that?” (wink wink KK did.)
			3.) BIG HAIR. Now don’t do New Jersey circa 1987 hair, but styling your hair bigger will make your face appear thinner. Crimping can actually be very pretty now-a-days. And you can get them CHEAP at any local drug store. Also, if you have a round face... think height. I straighten my hair then pull it half up and add height on top when I want to look thinner.
				4.) Yes Spanx do work. Just make sure if you are thicker, you either hook them into bra, or tuck them under. You don’t want unnecessary back rolls caused by squeezing action.
If you have thin legs, leggings and nylons are the way to go because they distract people from what is going on up top and keep the eye focused on your ASS-etts. 5.) Black is black. Anything you want to cover up, dress it in black, period. For other tips check out some archived blogs on dressing your body type. Don’t be discouraged! You are Fab! Your are Gorgeous and you are A DIVA! KK

Comments

[EJS]

Dear KK,

Thanks for all the super ideas for dressing to look thinner! I was just on my way out to shop for an outfit for the hubby's Christmas party! Boy, was I depressed till I read your blog. I was supposed to have lost all this weight by the Holidays and of course it didn't happen. I feel much better about this shopping excursion and will use your great ideas!!!!!!!!! Thanks EJS